Numb
by keisan
Summary: Kai and Rei share a couple passionate hoursnot fully described, don't worry, I'm not raising the rating, only for Rei to wake up to a distraught Kai, who must break some pressing news. KaiRei, soooo sorry for the wait! plz r&r! thanx!
1. Default Chapter

Numb  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade or any of it's characters, I just write stupid, twisted plots around them.damn I'm a sad pathetic girl.uhh. Oh and I don't own the song 'Numb' that's owned by Linkin Park, who are absolutely the best!!!  
  
Author's Note: Hey all, this is my first Beyblade fic! And best of all it's Kai/Rei! Isn't that great? Yes it is. Anyways, I happen to be a very depressing person, therefore there'll be lotsa angst, but some romanticy stuff too.don't tell anyone. Oh and I love Linkin Park stuff, so there'll probably be a few Linkin Park song fics in the future, if I can get the time to write them down that is. Okay, this fic's in Kai's POV mostly.I think..I may change it. Anyways, the song 'Numb' takes on the theme of one trying so hard to please and not succeeding, and becoming a cold, feelingless person because of it. There'll be a lot based on Kai's past that affects his actions in this fic and Rei has to try and melt Kai's frozen heart.  
  
Heh probably said too much, but at least this way you know of the direction I'm going in so I won't leave ya hangin'. Well hope you enjoy, please read and review! Thanks!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
** ** ** Breathing heavily, I dropped to my knees no longer able to stand.  
  
"Weakling," a cruel voice hissed into my ear. The cruel being pulled me into a standing position by my sweaty, slate locks. Then he began the consistant blows, punching my stomach- his favourite place of attack.  
  
I choked, coughing as the air escaped my lungs, I began choking harder still but his painful blows only became rougher and more abusive. He knitted his brows in anger as blood flew out of my mouth and splattered all over the cold floor of the training room.  
  
Finally, his attacks ceased and he dropped my limp form, black and blue with bruises, and walked out the door in disgust. I lay there completely beaten and humiliated on the floor bare of my shirt, struggling to breathe. I think one of my ribs was fractured during the vicious onslaught because my chest was burning like hell as though the bones were broken and pushing against my lungs. I coughed up some more blood and soon I slipped out of consciousness.  
  
** ** **  
  
*~* I'm tired of being what you want me to be Feeling so faithless Lost under the surface I don't know what you're expecting of me Put under the pressure Of walking in your shoes *~*  
  
I sat up suddenly. I gazed around the room fearfully, searching for the cold, hard floor of the abbey forever stuck in my painful memories. I pulled off my shirt and made a thorough inspection of my built chest, looking for the bruises I expected to see, but they were long gone. I breathed out a sigh of relief I didn't realize I was holding.  
  
A moment later, after brushing away the accumulated sweat off my brow, I heard the door to mind and Rei's bedroom creak open. To my surprise, Rei's head appeared from behind the opening door. I realized I hadn't noticed Rei's absence and blamed the lingering terrifying memories for my lack of focus. As for Rei, he must've noticed me starting to sit up in the double bed we had to share and tried to retreat before I got my bearings.  
  
"Rei," I stated, acknowleging his presence.  
  
He looked down at his feet, looking flustered, and said softly, "I didn't mean to wake you Kai."  
  
"You didn't, I was awake already. What are you doing? Where were you?" I asked.  
  
"Huh? Oh, nowhere. I just stepped out for some air and to think," he responded hesitating only slightly. I studied his intriguing, cat-like, Asian features, an unknown feeling swelled in my stomach- like butterflies but a tingling thought in the back of my mind caused a feeling of concern as well. I narrowed my eyes. I considered questioning Rei furthermore, but he seemed uncomfortable, I noted as he fiddled with the end of his binded hair, carefully avoiding my cold gaze. So I merely nodded.  
  
"Well you should get some sleep, we have lots of training to do tomorrow. I'm getting that cow, Tyson, up at 5:30," I said huffily, as the thought of the day's previous events entered my mind. The thought of Tyson's inhuman appetite made me want to gag, he deserved an early wake-up call after allowing us to watch his sickening display of gorging himself.  
  
Rei chuckled a bit, smiling slightly and nodding his head in agreement.  
  
Rei had to be the most tolerable person on this team. He respected me, and understood when things needn't be argued with, unlike Tyson.  
  
By then I'd lain down and closed my eyes. A few moments later Rei had gone into and out of the washroom and laid down on the otherside of the bed. His soft breathing noises soon lulled me into a peaceful slumber. Much more peaceful than earlier when he was absent. He'd always been very calming, and very likeable.  
  
*~*~*  
  
A loud beeping noise pulled me out of the blissful sleep I'd thoroughly enjoyed. I quickly turned off the alarm so as not to awaken Rei. A dim, soft sunlight poured onto the floor of the room through the window. I twisted my body around to gaze at Rei, I watched the fall and rise of his chest as he slept there. His hair had been let loose though not completely- it was still in a loose ponytail. The rest of his glossy, raven locks had scattered themselves across the pillow. I reached out to touch the tempting silk, but pulled my calloused hand away when I realized what I was doing. Appalled at my own actions, I sighed and forced myself up from under the covers. I was showered and dressed in a matter of minutes and went across the hall to Tyson's and Max's room, Dranzer in tow.  
  
After waking Tyson- with a good shouting, and waking Max in the process, they were down the stairs complaining in minutes. I allowed Tyson a small breakfast- according to his standards- consisting of two creamcheese bagels, a large bowl of cereal, three granola bars, a glass of orange juice and three bananas. Max just laughed all the time Tyson spent complained I was starving him. After nearly pummeling him into oblivion a number of times, and many bold threats, Tyson and Max were training their hearts out in the yard with their beyblades.  
  
After standing stoicly against the large oak tree near the mini-bey stadium, supervising Max and Tyson's training for an hour, I decided I'd go check on Rei. Tyson's annoying complaining that I was nicer to Rei than to anyone else- especially him- was beginning to piss me off.  
  
"Tyson!" I yelled warningly. That seemed to shut him up. Except for the annoyed grumbling he muttered to Max who just laughed but nodded in agreement.  
  
Opening the back door of the house, I spotted Kenny sitting at the kitchen table typing rigorously on his laptop. When he noticed me coming in, he clicked on a number of files that were the new battle strategies he'd come up with for Tyson's Dragoon, and gave me a quick synopsis of each. I nodded wordlessly.  
  
Moments later, I heard silent footsteps enter into the kitchen. Knowing instantly who it was, I looked up and received a small smile from the golden eyed neko-jinn. I couldn't help but notice he looked a little tired, and it showed slightly in his walk.  
  
"Hey Kenny, hey Kai," Rei greeted in his normal tone. He made his way towards the fridge and pulled out a small bottle of orange juice.  
  
"Anyone want one?" Rei asked, lifting his orange juice to indicate.  
  
I shook my head to decline.  
  
"No thanks Rei," Kenny said, "but would you like to see these new improvements I've been working on for Tyson's blade?"  
  
"Sure Chief, what have ya got?" Rei asked mildly interested.  
  
I studied Rei's agile movements, but quick and graceful at the same time. His golden eyes shone with wonder at Kenny's work and admiration glinted.  
  
Lost in the moment of observing Rei, I wasn't paying attention when Kenny called to ask my opinion on something. I blinked back to reality, Rei and Kenny with questioning looks in their eyes. I shook my head, turned my head to hide the blush that crept into my cheeks- wait blush! What's wrong with me? I wondered at my own sanity for a moment and quickly left the room without so much as a nod of acknowledgement.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/n: Alas I have fallen into 'I love Beyblade fics' trap.lol, but that's okay. Anyways I hope ya liked it, it's just getting off the ground that's why not much has happened. I'm not exactly sure if this is gonna be all lovey-feely fic or a lovey-feely fic with some wicked twisted plot I've yet to come up with. I guess we'll just have to see. I think a story really writes itself, 'cause even I- the author- never knows what's gonna happen. Well I hope I can get some reviews for this! Ja! 


	2. My confidant

Numb  
  
Disclaimer: I've already said it, I don't intend on mentioning it every chapter.  
  
A/n: Wow, the first chapter wasn't even up a day and I got # reviews! Thanks everyone! I've just been obsessed with reading Kai/Rei fics lately, but I didn't mean anything insulting when I said I'd fallen into the trap of Beyblade fics, it was just odd for me. I've never written a yaoi fic, it's usually Digimon fics non-yaoi. Well anyways thanks again for the reviews and here's the next chapter! Kai, Rei and Linkin Park rule!!!!  
  
P.s. oh someone asked about that thing where Kai was abused, that was a flashback from when he was in the abbey, heh shoulda mentioned that earlier, sorry!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I returned to the yard just in time to see Tyson and Max going all out in their beyblade battle. Their hard work and effort in training seemed to be paying off, and I felt a small smile tug at my lips. A few minutes later, when the two finished their battle, Tyson bragging loudly of how wonderful his skills were getting, Max and Tyson came to ask if they could go have a break. Feeling a little bit happy, but of course not showing it, I allowed them to have their hour long break. I didn't exactly feel like listening to Tyson's complaining or bragging and I thought they had deserved a break with all the work they'd been putting into their beyblading. The world tournament was coming up soon, so while I was a little glad the team was doing better, I didn't want them to slack off any.  
  
Finally alone in peace, I began to contemplate my earlier actions. What was wrong with me? So what if everyone pissed me off except for Rei? That didn't mean I had to be extra nice to him, I was still the team captain and I had the power to influence them all. I wanted them to be tough, I wanted them to win, I wanted to win. I still desired power, but I wasn't about to be manipulated by Boris and Black Dranzer..again. It was a horrible ordeal I'd rather forget, but the way it seemed to have affected Rei compared to all the others made me wonder if my concern was more than that. When I faced the Blade Breakers with Black Dranzer, I knew everyone was shocked, disgusted or angry that I betreyed them. But Rei, Rei was all of those things but something else as well. What I saw in those golden orbs of his that day, among the tears that he'd tried desperately to hide, was loss and abandonment. When I looked into his eyes I understood immediately and I felt like comforting him. I knew that Rei had done the same thing though, when he abandoned his team, the White Tigers, but for more acceptable reasons than I had.  
  
** ** ** [Caught in the undertow Just caught in the undertow] Every step that I take is Another mistake to you ** ** **  
  
I wasn't sure what I was feeling anymore, and I didn't want to think about it. I just wished I didn't have to feel! If feelings weren't real I could concentrate on what was really important, which was training and becoming the best. I would have put some more thought into this, but Rei chose this time to come and find me.  
  
I could hear his quiet footsteps approaching me cautiously, and could tell instantly from where he was coming from. My eyes still closed I waited for him to say something, if he thought I couldn't hear him, despite his cunningly quiet movements, then he had another thing coming. The waiting was beginning to get on my nerves, was he just standing there? I dismissed the idea when I couldn't feel his gaze, I figured he must've been looking at the small pond near the large oak tree. I opened my eyes to see that he was, and he was tip toeing around the place so as not to disturb me. A smile tugged at my lips again that day, he was so naive sometimes. The raven-haired neko-jin kneeled infront of the pond in an attempt to catch the small frog hopping around gaily, but only succeeding in landing on his face. He let out a soft laugh, a melidious sound that seemed to chase my inner demons away and beg for a smile. I let a small smile creep onto my face but it fell as Rei caught my gaze.  
  
I felt my cheeks heating up again -jeez! What's wrong with me??- but moved my face into shadows so he wouldn't spot my weakness. Soon it faded and I continued to watch Rei.  
  
Finally he stood up, he sometimes liked to act childish but he really was smart and reasonable. He turned to look at me and matched my hard gaze with those slit cat-eyes of his.  
  
"Hey Kai," he said quietly.  
  
I nodded.  
  
Deciding to take that as an invitation to sit down, he did and leaned against the oak tree behind us. Sighing, he continued to watch the horizon, the sun was already so high in the sky, but he seemed expectant of Her retreat. He seemed to enjoy the twilight as much as I did. So peaceful and calm and thoughts are left to scatter amongst themselves. My thoughts turned to my painful memories, just because I'm me. I deserve it. I, who caused others so much sadness, fear and loss, deserve any punishment I receive. And that includes the painful beatings I'd received at the abbey all those years ago. Just before I slipped into full-fledged memory lane, Rei saved me.  
  
"So.excited about the tournament?"  
  
"Not really. I just want to get back at Voltaire and his little gang of minions," I responded, hate filling me. I clenched my fists, but took a deep breath and resumed my brooding.  
  
Rei nodded understanding.  
  
"Tell me, why did you leave your old team?" I questioned Rei, just trying to make casual conversation, even though I was really bad at it.  
  
Rei contemplated my question for a minute and responded. His eyes were glazed over, "I could never have become the blader I am today had I stayed with them. They were restricted to the village, and I needed to travel the world to reach my full potential," he paused and glancing a little angrily at me. "I never thought them lower than me, in fact, I thought I was the weakest, most pathetic one of the whole team. Lee liked to taunt me with that fact, I needed to get away from all the insults."  
  
** ** ** I've Become so numb I can't feel you there Become so tired So much more aware I'm becoming this All I want to do Is be more like me And be less like you ** ** **  
  
Shocked I looked at him in the eye, I never knew his old team thought of him like that! I looked down at myself, and felt horrible, painful regret coursing through me. I swallowed and proceeded to speak.  
  
"I do not think you are weak or pathetic. I think you are.one of the strongest bladers I have ever seen. Lee is wrong to say that about you. You have my respect," I said finally, and I stood up to leave him with those thoughts.  
  
His features seemed to have brightened considerably. Though I could see the shock, the infamous Kai would never compliment a fellow beyblader, but I had my reasons. Perhaps I hadn't really meant it, perhaps it was those odd feelings that I felt whenever I was close to the Chinese beyblader. Looking at him one last time before I left the yard, I nodded to myself. I had meant those words, I felt the hard core of their truth brush my mind and heart. He continued to stare at me with that shocked look, along with acceptance, admiration and even liking? I couldn't be sure. But I felt things were settled between us, perhaps he'd be the only person I'd ever confide in, because I knew he wouldn't say anything about this to the others. I gave him a nod and walked back to the rental house to bring those lazy bums of teammates out for more practice.  
  
I wasn't worried about Rei, because he, similar to myself, liked to train alone, except of course for the occasional beybattle with the others. Rei was also a natural hard worker, he trained all the time. I sometimes found him in the hills and mountains, wherever we happened to be staying (which was currently at a rented house that Mr. Dickenson arranged for us to stay at for our training and the tournament). He also seemed to have an impeccible appreciation for nature and peacefulness.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/n: Well there's that chapter people, hope ya liked it! I actually put thought into it! Lol, jk, I just tend to write, hardly ever thinking about what I'm actually writing, heh. The next chapter will be up as soon as I can get it written, so hold your horses! Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews, they've all been great motivation. I hope to get some more reviews in the future! Ja!  
  
Keisan 


	3. Close yet so Distant

Numb  
  
A/n: Hey again! Glad to hear you guys liked the first two chapters, and thank you everyone who reviewed them, I really appreciate it. Sorry for such a late update but busy-ness in the form of homework and reading fanfics consumes my time. Plus it didn't help when I went around for a week or so blank-minded, a.k.a. lack of inspiration. Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews, please continue!^_^  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Hours had passed, and I was busily observing the various beybattles between Max and Tyson, on top of the long hours spent with Kenny making upgrades. It was all beginning to get on my nerves. I couldn't really stand to be near people all that often and a full day of it was enough to push me over the edge of sanity. Growling, I snapped at Tyson whenever he decided to screw up or purposely annoy me.  
  
"Hey Kai, don't you get tired of being such a jerk, or does it just come naturally?" Tyson ventured.  
  
Well he certainly didn't want to live long and launched into a few snippy insults and comments that just agitated the annoying boy even more. It didn't take long for me to end up pounding Tyson into the ground. I smirked as I tackled him hard and gave him a few good punches. He was coughing after that, though it shut him up for a while. Max sweatdropped and grinned a little saying that it kinda was his own fault, but comforted him when he received a glare from the beat up boy.  
  
After that, I took off, hardly worried that I might just kill Tyson that day. Another thing that slipped into my mind concerned Rei's whereabouts. He hadn't been around since lunch and it was now past dinnertime  
  
I went past Kenny as I headed towards the front door. The cool wind blew in my face and the sun was falling low in the sky, it's warmth falling with it. Rei, being the nature lover he is, was likely to be at the park or the connecting woods. I made my way to the closest one, I'd often seen him training there during the weeks we'd been living in this area, he liked to be near the river.  
  
After a few minutes, I found myself touching the edge of the thicket of woods, looking around for a certain raven-haired blader. I began making my way throught the thick brush towards the river near the centre of the fores, finally I reached the stable path and trekked across the acre of land. It wasn't long before I heard the sound of rushing water just up ahead, I must've gone further than I'd intended all the way up towards the waterfall. Somehow I felt drawn to that area, and vaguely wondered why. I received my answer as soon as I stepped out of the trees.  
  
Rei was there, eyes focused, fixed with a concentrated look over his Asian features. His long, tied back hair was flipping about in the breeze and he was in his fighting stance, keeping his beyblade spinning on top of a peaked rock within the water. Looking down from where he was standing, I could tell it was a long way down to the bottom of the waterfall. I smirked at the progress Rei was achieving through the disciplined exercise and felt a pang of pride rush through me. I crossed my arms and continued to watch his concentrated form. He was lean, but he had some muscle on him, he was no pushover. That would be an excellent tool for the next battle. On top of that, he appeared fierce when he battled and that gave him some edge as well.  
  
Lost in a daze, I didn't realize Rei had stopped blading and was now coming towards me. Rei looked a bit concerned, though when I came out of my daze I assured him it was nothing. He went to grab his blade and I headed back towards the forest. A few minutes later, through little communication, we were on our way back to the rented house. I resumed my cold, independent exterior and made no sound in communication to Rei. The silence being accustomed to both of us, I knew Rei was usually deep in thought, or absorbing his surroundings but prefering to keep his thoughts to himself. He never really showed who he truly was, I wasn't even sure he knew. However, I wondered if I was similar, afterall I kept to myself as well, though I wasn't afraid to snap at others, but that was about it.  
  
Rei rested his gaze on the gentle forest surroundings, how quaint, I thought. What is the likelihood of all this being reality, sometimes I wondered if our entire world was a dream, but I dismissed the childish thoughts, as being the best was the only important thing to me. Everyone else is an obsticle, something preventing me from achieving my best. Rei was no different. He was definitly an obsticle in achieving the pinnacle of perfection, he with his kindness, beauty and timid nature. It was all so alluring that sometimes I just wanted to step out of my own vision of how my life was into what joy everyone else wanted me to experience. I knew that if I ever did that, I would never return to my uncomplicated, emotionaless, yet perfect world. It would trap me in joy and happiness, and I would never achieve my goal. Boris drilled that into me, as it was very different from when I was a child. I was young, free and, dare I say, happy. But he showed me through various examples that it leads to nowhere, I would always be average, like one of those pathetic nobodies that had no choice but to pretend to be happy with what I was. Unfortunatly I would never be happy in that state, so I vowed to never leave the world Boris brought me into. One of discipline, power, dominance and, above all, perfection.  
  
** ** ** Can't you see that you're smothering me Holding too tightly Afraid to lose control 'Cause everything that you thought I would be Has fallen apart right here in front of you ** ** **  
  
Rei, as though sensing my disturbed thoughts, filled with bits of morbid wonderings, decided to break the perfect silence that encompassed us.  
  
"Why'd you come and look for me?"  
  
I paused, and answered, "The rest of the team was annoying me, I needed some air."  
  
He looked at me uncertain for a moment, but deciding not to press the issue, he nodded.  
  
"Why do you train differently than the rest of the team?" I asked suddenly curious.  
  
Rei tucked some loose dark strands behind his ear and said, "I prefer to train alone. It keeps my head focused and I am not distracted. When I go to my training spot, I like to just clear my mind of thoughts left over from interactions with everyone and I can train with a clear head."  
  
I nodded, understanding him perfectly, though being the team leader required more of my time than it did of his, so for that I envied him.  
  
Rei kept glancing at me, though he looked away when I met his gaze with a questioning look. Maybe I looked odd today, I didn't think so, but Rei, being perceptive as he is, would be one to notice even a dismal thought. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore, I wanted to ask him why he kept giving me that look. I wondered briefly if there might be any loopholes of that making me appear weak, seeing none I proceeded to ask.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
Confused, thought I knew he knew what I was talking about, he asked, "Huh? Nothing. I seem to be walking with you."  
  
Wearily, I gave him a knowing look.  
  
Looking down, as though a little embarrassed, he began slowly, ".You seem distracted..and a little agitated..and even a little depressed, almost morbid."  
  
Shocked, I wondered if he could actually read my mind. That's another thing he is, I thought, very intuitive.  
  
I crossed my arms and kept walking, "Nevermind, forget I asked."  
  
He looked a little hurt but I didn't really care, someone else sensing my well hidden feelings, made me feel unnerved, as if it could eventually be used against me.  
  
Shortly, we arrived back at the rented home and made ourselves comfortable; everyone turned in for the night early. The others did ask us questions of our whereabouts, but I kept silent and Rei said nothing more than what was necessary, apparently to keep them from worrying.  
  
I sat up late that night, pondering about the events that had occurred that day, they were mostly about Rei though. Rei was a puzzel in a human form, he was unusual and alluringly perfect.well almost, nobody's really perfect, I would be soon though.  
  
Hours must had have passed, as a cold chill woke me during the night. The odd thing was, we shut all the windows when we went to bed. I subconsciously shrugged away the cold chill that went right down into my bones, and searched for the source of the problem. The small balcony was left open slightly, just a crack, but enough to chill the room. I calmly sat up, came to my senses and looked around for any sign of life.  
  
When my eyes landed on Rei's empty side of the bed, relief tried to make itself present on my face but I wouldn't let it. I crawled out of bed, and stealthily made my way to the open door. The chairs on the small bit of pavement were the same as they'd always been, however, at the end of the piece of land was a small form, who we knew as the White Tiger of the team. Rei was curled up on the chair gazing up at the dark sky scattered with tiny white stars. He was grasping his bare feet and his shoulders and arms must've grown accustomed to the cold because they did not shake. His silky raven hair loosely tied was slipping gradually out of it's bindings and flew wildly about in the light wind. Sighing, he seemed content.  
  
I stepped quietly out onto the balcony, knowing his sensitive hearing would've caught any small noise made and certainly caught me. I tried to spy out what had captured his interest, and finding nothing I would consider particularly interesting, crept towards him. I was beside him in a moment and he looked at me with a small smile, but turned back to his star-gazing. His skin seemed to glow, its natural deep tan projecting most of it, but it glowed with contentment as well. Sitting there gave me a strange desire to throw everything away and just revel in the joy of content life, but I quickly pushed that to the back of my mind.  
  
Minutes seemed to slip by in silence, and minutes soon turned to hours. Before I knew it, the sun was touching the horizon and began its dawn onto the inhabitants of the planet. I wondered if I'd even slept for two hours, despite feeling the relaxed laziness of the morning enter my system, and having a lingering, warm feeling in my left hand. I looked to the left of me, and saw that a beautiful sight was awaiting my waking. In my left hand lay the Chinese blader's right hand and its warmth made its way to my cheeks. Content, I felt like reveling in the touch all day but responsibly I pulled my hand away and left the balcony.  
  
The neko-jinn must've woken up soon after, because when I left the shower room, he was there detangling his long, silky obstinate strands from their loose binds. Ready to leave I went to my drawer to retrieve my bey blade, and started to leave the room.  
  
I snuck a quick glance at Rei before I left and saw his face clouded with thoughts. He seemed to be putting the dark locks into more of a tangled mess, and a thought came to me. Calmly I put down my blade on my bed and made my way over to Rei, who was currently facing the mirror in disarray. I carefully took the brush out of his trembling hands, and began the task of pulling through the tangles, as gently as I could. His eyes, very surprised, soon took on a relaxed state and closed as I combed through the mass.  
  
Somehow, we both ended up sitting on the floor, I was still brushing through his hair and he was propped up against my chest, seeming very relaxed and letting out an occasional purr. I was content just doing the menial task for all eternity but soon the downstairs was bustling with whining bey bladers. I sighed and continued to comb, allowing my hands to touch the fine strands when I thought Rei wouldn't notice. I think he did though, he smiled everytime I let my hands travel down his mane and sometimes brushed his neck or back. I thought I'd almost lost it, but an exceptionally loud crash from downstairs jolted me out of it. I quickly put down the brush and started to get up. I would have gotten out of that room as fast as I could if Rei hadn't grasped my hand before I stood.  
  
"Please stay," he said softly.  
  
Heart wrenching in my chest, I swallowed and stated firmly, "No."  
  
Rei tensed up again and nodded wordlessly.  
  
Regretfully, I bitterly stood up and left the room with Driger cluched in my trembling hand.  
  
** ** ** [Caught in the undertow/ Just caught in the undertow] Every step that I take is Another mistake to you [Caught in the undertow/ Just caught in the undertow] And every second I waste Is more than I can take ** ** **  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/n: So sorry again for such a long wait, you probably expected much better than this chapter after such a long time to update, but I tried. Well it's midnight now so I should be going, I hope this chapter was at least worth a second of your time, if it wasn't I appologize once again. A review would be nice if you think it's worth that, heh. Anyways, an update will appear soon, I hope, so keep a lookout. Thanks again so much for everyone who's reviewed so far, I really appreciate the encouragement! Ja!  
  
Keisan 


	4. Confusing emotions

Numb  
  
A/n: Sorry for the long wait guys, yes I am very slow and unfortunatly busy- I never should've bothered with that whole set designing thing for school, at least I got my volunteer hours in though. Anyways, I'll post this update, and I'll try to get another one up soon as I can but I can't promise anything as school's end is fast approaching and I've projects, exams and a triathlon June 7th woo hoo! lol... As for my wonderful reviewers who seem to make time to read my updates in their days, I thank you guys so much! I don't know what I did to deserve all that kind praise, lol. Well I won't keep you waiting any longer, here's chapter 4!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The day seemed to drag on, training went on as usual for most of the day, and Tyson's pushing demands came along with it. The training was something I didn't mind, but I could've done without Tyson's idiotic, sarcastic remarks. We had our daily arguments, and everything went along as it always does; Tyson would be an idiot, I'd beat him up, Max would comfort him, I'd take off, I'd go search for the neko-jinn.... Actually the last part is starting to become more normal, it never used to be part of my day but now it seems ongoing.  
  
It seems whenever it's just Rei and me, everything seems right, really calming and I think I'm opening up to him more than anyone in my entire life. I don't want these weak feelings I have to distract me from my ultimate goal, but he's such an addiction! I don't really understand it all, everything feels good and right when we're talking or just sitting and enjoying each other's company, but this is something I've never felt before. Then again, I've never really had any real friends before, it was forbidden at the Abbey. Boris, my grandfather and the scientists taught us how to deal with life without having to resort to any kind of emotional attachments. We were designed to be the perfect bladers, warriors. Well not really 'we' but more directly 'me', because I am the heir.  
  
During my time observing the others' training, my mind wandered to the day before when I'd brushed Rei's gorgeous raven locks. It was so comforting to just be doing something like that for Rei, he seemed to enjoy the attention, and his reactions were what kept me going. It made me feel good that I was honouring Rei for him just being him. And it struck me with curiousity whenever my fingers would brush his neck, that he shivered, and he suddenly had goosebumps all over. I didn't think I was that cold, maybe he was shivering about something else. Touching his neck and silky hair kept replaying over and over in my memories and I felt butterflies flitting about in my stomach. He was very soft, just like a kitten. That name could suit him very well, I thought. The thought brought a smile to my face.  
  
To get my mind off my confused feelings about Rei, I got up and trained for the rest of the day, I hardly took a break. The last thing I wanted to be thinking about the Chinese boy when I had a tournament coming up so soon. Blading took my mind off everything except my goal and power, and what I was striving to achieve. Blading took my mind away from the mundane matters of my team and everything around me, it was freedom for me, well almost. It was too restrictive to be considered freedom, it was more like a job, like something that kept me going but wasn't blissful or an ideal life.  
  
While pondering my thoughts in silence beneath the shade of the cherry blossom tree in the park, I noticed a flash of black silk strands. My eyes barely open, as I prefer them to be while in my deep meditations, I kept my head down so I could peer out from beneath my secretive bangs to see what was disturbing my training.  
  
It seemed the little neko-jinn, Rei, was once again creeping around quietly, so as not to disturb me, and I noticed he was leaning dangerously close to the side of the fast flowing river near the rocks. A cold feeling made me shudder just slightly, suddenly I felt like something was seriously wrong. Keeping a close eye on Rei, he reached out over the rocks in attempt to catch an escaping butterfly (A/n; couldn't you so picture that? Awww, I could!) As he steadied his knees up on the rock, which glistened, the butterfly flew a little further out of reach, and suddenly Rei was gone! My eyes flew open as I frantically shot up to grab Rei from the rough rapids.  
  
Rei's head came up from underneith the consuming waves and he struggled to keep afloat, though it was obvious he couldn't swim very well. Rei looked up as he took in a great gulp of water and saw me; his eyes widened and he tried to reach for me. Without a second thought, I dove into the rapids. The shock of the cold hit me full force, obviously the sun didn't do much to warm this water. I pushed up from the bottom of the river's bottom and kicked hard until I broke the surface of the water. Getting my bearings straight, I spotted Rei flowing fast down the river, then I remembered something. There was a waterfall only a couple kilometers downstream! With that thought of horror, I dove back under the water, and swam as fast as I could, training that I'd done for years was paying off.  
  
Avoiding rocks as much as I could, but getting a little bashed up anyways, I trailed after Rei like a bird after its prey. Rei was still struggling against the rough current and he looked visibly tired out, which seemed to call me faster.  
  
** ** **  
  
But I know  
  
I may end up failing you too  
  
But I know  
  
You were just like me  
  
With someone disappointed in you  
  
** ** **  
  
"REI!" I called as loud as I could.  
  
"Rei! I'm coming! Rei!" I yelled out to him.  
  
Rei looked desperate and yelled out to me, stretching his arm towards me. Not looking what was ahead of him, he was thrown by the current against one of the large rocks poking dangerously out of the waves. It knocked him out. However, a piece of tree bark that'd been sticking out from underneith the rock caught on to his shirt. It gave me precious time to swim harder towards him, I slammed my arm up against the side of the rock to grab hold, and yanked Rei from the grasp the tree branch had on him.  
  
I held him to me and pushed off from the rock, silently thanking luck I hadn't lost the neko-jinn. Breathing heavily, I finally managed to drag both myself and Rei over to the side rocks of the river. I pushed Rei up onto the damp rocks and heaved myself up a moment after.  
  
I breathed in hard, trying to suck as much air in as I could, then I remembered Rei had been knocked out. I crawled over to where Rei landed and shook him. He didn't move and I was getting frantic. Rei hadn't been under the water that long, but he must've taken some in when he was knocked out.  
  
"REI!" I shouted.  
  
"REI! Wake up! Wake up! REI!" I kept yelling to try and wake him up.  
  
I put my hand slightly above his mouth and didn't feel any air coming out. Remembering my first aid training at the abbey, I began pushing down on his chest. I'd stop at fifteen seconds and put my ear over his mouth.  
  
"Rei! Come on! Come on Rei, don't give up on me now!" I yelled as I went through the resusitation.  
  
Suddenly he began choking violently and leaned to the side to spit out some water. He was breathing hard and rested on his elbows. He looked up at me with gratitude at first and then looked down again as though he were ashamed and sorry.  
  
"I'm sorry Kai, I can't believe I was so careless, I should've have done that. Thank you for saving me though," he said.  
  
I resumed my cool-confident stare and crossed my arms. I nodded once grunting in acknowledgement. I had to keep up my front, he may have thought me weak if I did not. However, I did note the pained expression he quickly hid. Standing up, I no longer saw any reason to be sitting there, obviously the neko-jinn was all right.  
  
He got up with a groan of pain and I turned to see what was hurting him so. Crimson blood dripped down his cheek. Shocked I put my hand to his face and brushed his thick, raven bangs out of the way. His head must have been injured when he hit the rock. He blushed a little and shook me off.  
  
"Oh...I'll be fine, just a little scrape."  
  
I looked at him oddly and though his pride was admirable, a head injury was nothing to shake off. I turned around and offered to carry him on my back.  
  
"Get on. A head injury isn't just nothing, we have to get you back to the house," I told him.  
  
He'd torn a piece of his arm bandage off and sopped up the blood. Unfortunatly that wasn't near enough to clean the wound and I prodded him to get on my back. He seemed reluctant.  
  
"No really, it's fine, I'll be fine...just..just fine..I just have to get going and-"  
  
He was cut off as he began to topple over. The blood loss was accumulating, that's what I could guess that caused him to faint like that. Just before he hit the ground, I grabbed him and heaved him up on my back. Jogging at a quick pace, I headed back with Rei to the house.  
  
*~ *~ *~  
  
An hour had already passed and Rei was no closer to waking up than he was an hour ago. It was beginning to hang around in my thoughts and made me feel...worry? Yes, I suppose I was worried. It affected my actions as I'd been sitting beside Rei the whole time after I'd bandaged him up properly. He was lying in his bed breathing soft and evening, ocassionally letting out a small purr. It was actually very cute..wait a moment, cute? I wondered vaguely where that had come from and assumed it was the lack of fresh air in the room.  
  
I stood and walked over to the window. The sun had long gone down and I could hear murmurs of the others downstairs. They'd been really worried when I brought Rei back, but I told them Rei just fell and he would be okay. With a chuckle to myself, I penilized them for not continuing with their much needed training and once again beat Tyson up.  
  
I lifted the window open and let the fresh cool air in. The moonlight shone through the coloured window panes and gave the room a smoky blue tinge. It was comforting, tranquil and allowed me to calm my nerves.  
  
I decided to sit and meditate, maybe occupying my time with something wouldn't make the waiting seem so long. I sat on my side of the bed, facing away from Rei and towards the window. I slid my eyes shut as I relaxed into the common position I was used to meditating in.  
  
My mind opened up to a peaceful path, but to my dismay, evaporated into the cold, stone tunnels of the abbey. Boris appeared and my mind reminisced the insults he'd abused me with all those years ago, not only the mental but the physcial. Something touched the long thin scar smeared across my back, and thinking I was being whipped again, I fell.  
  
"Kai? Kai! What's wrong? I didn't mean to do anything, are you okay? What's wrong?" Rei's gentle voice called out to me.  
  
Falling out of the dream-like state, I opened my eyes and realized I was sprawled across the bed, my hand lying on top of Rei's chest. Blushing, I sat myself upright and hid my face in the shadows.  
  
"Kai? What happened?" Rei questioned confused.  
  
"Nothing," I replied, "Just a dream." "Kai..are you sure? If anything it seemed like a nightmare."  
  
He must've peeked around and saw my face contorted in pain. Shit.  
  
"IT'S NOTHING! Now drop it."  
  
I knew my answer was harsh sounding, but I had to be like that. I could not allow myself to develop any attachments, not even friendship.  
  
I turned to look at his saddened features and felt regret.  
  
"So how are you feeling?" I asked, trying to appologize in my own way for snapping at him.  
  
He seemed to understand that.  
  
"Oh, well my head hurts a little, not as much as before, so I guess I can say I feel much better. And thank you..for staying with me I mean. And bandaging me up. I know you didn't have to."  
  
"Yes I do. I am your team captain. I must look out for the well-being of my team members," I answered as though I were some kind of andriod.  
  
Rei sighed and nodded. He then did something I did not expect in the least. Leaning forward, he wrapped his arms around my waist in a hug.  
  
Reddening I did not know how to react. Instinctively, I put my arms around him, returning the hug. After a moment I did not feel so comfortable about all this. What exactly was I doing? This is Rei, curious, kind-hearted, determined and prideful Rei. The kitten of the team. The level-headed one who separated Tyson and myself when we fought. Rei held everything together. The golden-eyed neko-jinn, at the moment, struck me as very attractive, both in looks and qualities. He was in a word....wonderful.  
  
Rei had pulled away and lay back down on his side of the bed. He pulled up the covers and closed his eyes. I did not know what to think, say or do. I just sat there reminiscing his warmth. He seemed to have noticed my paralysis as he cracked one golden eye open, and grinned. The blush faded from my cheeks but I gave him a small smile back anyway. I pulled the covers back from my side of the bed and hopped in.  
  
First, I faced away from Rei, but he prodded across my back, obviously trying to get my attention. Sighing, I turned towards him to see him grinning. He moved a little closer to me, gestering that he was cold, it silently pleased me that he turned to me for warmth. I decided to be daring and wrapped my arms around him. He jumped a little but settled into the embrace and returned it.  
  
Finally he drifted off, I was sure that I nodded off not too long after him. He was just so pleasant to look at, him in his white pajamas and hair loose. Maybe feelings aren't so weak afterall, I mean this felt right, and I was actually content for once. Maybe I could give this a chance to develop into something more...maybe....just maybe the golden-eyed neko-jinn has broken down my icy shields. I played with his silky smooth bangs and settled into a deep, satisfying sleep.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/n; Ah ha! There we go! Yes I know it wasn't that long, I wanted to end it on a sweet note though, the chapter I mean of course. There's still another chapter to come..I've gotta figure out how I'm gonna continue with the song. Anyways, a little bit of drama and some Kai/Rei fluff, I suppose I should now be begging you all for reviews, even though I hardly deserve 'em, making you all wait so long. I'm sorry! I've been really really busy, and my inspiration container needs to be filled up again, that's why it's taken me so long. Well I hope you guys still wanna review this, they definitely help and I really appreciate 'em! Thanks all! Next chapter will be up as soon as I can get it up, k? No worries! I never leave a fic incomplete. Keisan 


	5. Understanding

Numb  
  
A/n; Hey all….heh I got a really good review a while ago, she asked me where I was heading with this fic……I'm sorry if it isn't very clear, but I just write what comes out, never actually planning anything. That last chapter sorta went against everything Kai believed he should allow himself to have. I guess it's not making much sense, I'll try to get it moving along in this chapter, heh I'd actually been considering the previous chapter being the second last and this was just finishing everything off, but it seems I need to give this fic some direction. Sorry for messing this up, it's my first BeyBlade fic and I keep putting the writing off so yeah…… I gotta get working, and now it's summer holidays so updating shouldn't be a problem… I hope. Well thanks so much for all the reviews, hope this chapter is enjoyable!  
  
****Note: this ** ** ** means the events between is a dream sequence****  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
** ** **  
  
Opening my eyes, I observed my surroundings. I was in a dark tunnel, the dampness and cold penetrated my bones and I shivered. Suddenly a dark figure stepped out of the shadows, violet hair caught the light, and that dark mask that was overly familiar came into my vision.  
  
"Boris," I mouthed.  
  
He glanced at me with his cruel smirk, and stepped towards me. I stood my grounds, until I noticed the gun in his hand. I took a quick look around me, turned and bounded off in the opposite direction.  
  
Soon I'd gone through enough twists and turns of the maze to realize I'd lost him. That's when I heard his voice, Voltaire's.  
  
"Kai! You are to do as I say!"  
  
I crept around a corner to where his voice was coming from and saw that he was circling me! Well another me. Except a much younger me, I looked to be about seven. He circled the young me giving that menacing glare he liked to intimidate me with. In his hand hung a coiled up whip. I flinched at the memory of how he tormented me with that thing. He gripped the torture weapon tightly and let a little bit of slack loose. My younger self looked at him with defiant, fierce crimson eyes, and stood his ground. Voltaire raised his hand with the whip and struck the child.  
  
I flinched at the memory, and felt the anger rise up in me. I couldn't do anything then when I was a child to defend myself, but I could sure do something about it now. I dashed into the room, and grabbed the child away, but as I touched him he began to fade away. Locking eyes with me, he smiled at my attempt and gave me a look of gratitude. He slipped away fading away into the darkness, along with Voltaire's violent form. Confused I glanced about the shadows trying to locate the young one and Voltaire, but they were no where to be seen.  
  
Sighing, I walked on through the labrynth, seeing glimpses of my past, leading all the way up to the recent events. I saw wins with the blade breakers, the thoughts contented me, though I showed no expression.  
  
Then I began seeing excessive images of Rei, or rather, I'd started focusing more on Rei in all the happenings we'd been through together.  
  
Rei melted the coldness from my bitter heart, he brought me to question my conduct and desiring to please him, I'd tried to be kinder towards the other members of the team. However, I would never reveal more to anyone about myself than Rei. Reminiscing all the times I'd spent with Rei, I felt completely at peace and content with life.  
  
Reaching the end of the labrynth, I gazed down one hallway before the apparent exit, and saw a vision of the golden- eyed neko-jinn himself. He was sitting against the wall in a corner, with his head on his knees. Pain gripped me, and I ran towards him. I touched his shoulder and he looked up at me with fear and hurt in his eyes. Curious, I wanted to ask what he was afraid of. He stared at me with those piercing eyes of his, and I knew then he was afraid of…….me.  
  
I let go of his arm and he scurried out of the corner down the hallway. He looked back only once and kept running. I stood up, my heart heavy, and headed towards the exit. When I reached the desolate door, and pushed it open, there revealed was another maze. Angry, I slammed the door and searched desperately for another exit. Time and time again, I was led into a bigger, more complex maze, completely frozen and alone, forever. Rei was gone, I had nothing.  
  
** ** **  
  
My eyes flashed open, and I panted heavily. 'A bad dream,' I thought.  
  
Warmth radiated from my right side, and I looked down to see the sleeping neko-jinn curled up against me. Rei seemed content, though my mind was in turmoil from the nightmare.  
  
Not wanting to awaken the light sleeper, I laid there quietly thinking. My hands found their way to Rei's silky raven locks, and began running through them as gently and softly as possible. A purr was audiable as my fingers ran through the strands.  
  
A soft russling led me to believe Rei had awakened.  
  
"Kai? Are you okay? Is there something on your mind?" the soft voice echoed.  
  
I looked at him to see a golden eye cracked open sleepily. He gave me a concerned gaze when I shook my head no.  
  
He propped himself up on his elbows on the pillow and stared me down.  
  
"C'mon, I know something must be up," he said persistantly, and continued, "I can see it in your eyes."  
  
Surprised, I looked at him.  
  
'How could he know so much about me, just by looking?' I wondered.  
  
I turned my head away, and shook my head. I wondered vaguely if he really could sense my emotions or if he was just trying to get me to open up to him.  
  
"I uh…..just had a bad dream, that's all," I said quickly, trying to get away from the subject, "it was really nothing."  
  
He eyed me expectantly and drew closer to me. It made me a little nervous, and I allowed my expression to take it's cold menacing look. He was persistant though, he leaned his head on my shoulder and waited for me to continue.  
  
"So……what happened?"  
  
"I uh…..nothing, it was just memories, and you-"  
  
I stopped when I said that, I couldn't believe I'd just blurted that out.  
  
With renewed curiousity, he prodded me to continue.  
  
I decided to take a new angle, "Are you afraid of me?"  
  
Shocked he said, hesitating only slightly, "No of course not, I mean I might have been at one time……it's just……." His face had a tinge of blush to it now.  
  
Sighing, he continued, "Sometimes I'm afraid, I know your childhood wasn't kind to you and the fact that you've never really been close to anyone nor confided in anyone has me a little unnerved that you might never trust me. I really wish you would though. I trust you, I wish you would trust me. I mean I really like you a lot…….more than you'll ever know."  
  
His head down, he waited for a response.  
  
The neko-jinn's confession shocked me and yet I felt butterflies going wild in my stomach. I knew there was attraction in this……relationship we'd formed, and that Rei respected me and vice versa. I knew I enjoyed Rei's company and that he knew when to stop prodding me, unlike some members of the blade breakers * cough cough Tyson cough cough *. I didn't quite understand what Rei found so fascinating about me, I didn't even understand how he came to respect me, other than the fact that I gave him the most credit out of the entire group. Why he'd want to hang around a cruel bastard like me, was beyond my understanding. Yet he wanted me to open up to him, I wasn't even sure I was ready to open up to anyone, seeing as I'd had more than my fair share of hurt and pain in this world. Showing feelings and being vulnerable would surely lead to heartbreak and pain, wouldn't it? So why was I letting this kitten in? When we were together, everything felt right and I felt like I had a purpose, it was wonderful. On top of that, Rei was wonderful. Both attractive and kind. He was compassionate towards everyone and yet he was one of the strongest beybladers I'd ever come to know.  
  
The bed shifted and I must've zoned out for a while, because Rei had turned away from me.  
  
"Sorry," I murmured, "I was just thinking. All I want to know though is, why?"  
  
He turned back to me, rubbing his teary eyes, instantly making me feel regret, "Huh?"  
  
"Why do you like me?"  
  
He laughed lightly at that, I wondered utterly perplexed.  
  
We got up, dressed in a matter of moments, and headed out the door. Rei had suggested we go to the park for some fresh air, and to get away from the younger blade breakers, of course I'd agreed, on the deal that he would answer my question when we got there.  
  
"So?" I questioned when we got there, sitting beneath the shade of a cherry blossom tree.  
  
With a smile he said, "I think you're the most fascinating person I've ever met. You show you are an intolerable bastard on the outside, and you don't let anyone get close to you. You pretend you're all high and mighty, and though your skills and determination are admirable, you're only human so you do make mistakes. As far as I know, I'm the only person who's ever gotten this close to you, I'm still not sure why you chose to open up to me. But I do know one thing, you aren't untouchable, I've gotten this far into getting to know the real mysterious you. I know that your past has defined who you are, and I understand that. Truthfully, I want to know you inside out, and I appreciate that you've let me in. I guess I'm just curious."  
  
To say the least, I was very surprised, though the last comment about his trait of curiousity made me respond with a smile, "Just like a kitten."  
  
He grinned with a blush, and punched at me playfully. He jabbed me lightly in the stomach and bounded off, motioning me to chase him. He laughed as I ran towards him, and circled a tree a few times. When he thought he was safe, he ducked down behind a bush, and I would have missed him if the end of his ponytail hadn't given him away.  
  
I quitely crept towards the tree's trunk and waited til he was still. Then I flew out of my hiding place and pounced Rei. I had him pinned to the ground, and he was laughing the whole time, tears of joy forming in his eyes. After a moment, as I sat on top of him, he stopped laughing and look at me with a smile. I was caught in his hypnotic gaze and everything became serious.  
  
He studied my eyes with such intensity, making me curious and a little daring. Before I realized it myself, we were both leaning forward, and our lips met in a passionate kiss. It was a soul shattering kiss that I would never forget. He slipped his tongue into my mouth, and I did the same. After a moment, we pulled away, breathing hard. He grinned, his tiger's fangs catching the light. I gave him a small smile.  
  
Everything was pretty quiet, until a rusling caught my attention. My head shot up to where the noise came from. I spotted three figures walking down the path not too far off. Rei seemed to have noticed the intrusion and looked up to the path. He shook his head.  
  
"Ah well, I suppose it wasn't meant to last too long. Here come the others."  
  
With a sigh, I got up and helped him to his feet. I took his hand, and leaned forward, kissing him once more, lightly. He responded and pulled away as he heard the rest of our team getting closer.  
  
I could hear Tyson's loud complaining echoing in the distance and almost pitied the poor boy, thinking of all the difficult training I would have to put him through.  
  
I leaned quickly towards Rei once again and whispered into his ear, "We'll continue this later, Kitten."  
  
He grinned and took my hand. We started towards the group and let our hands go as we came into their view. It was our little secret for now.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/n: Cute enough? Hehe, I hope so. Anyways, no need to worry, I don't intend on making this any higher than PG-13, because well…… I can't really write anymore, in the way of lemons and such. Please review, even though I made you guys wait soooooooo long, I'm so sorry, I probably don't deserve your gracious reviews, but they're still nice to receive. Next chapter will be up as soon as I can get it up. I'm gonna be working for the next couple of days, and I have to keep up with my drawings, poetry and soccer, so hopefully soon I can have time to update this fic. By the way, I've been working on a one-shot Kai/Rei fic, it's another song fic ( Linkin Park – the one and only hehehe!), I wanna get that one up as soon as I'm finished it. 


	6. A Fine Line between Love and Hate

Numb  
  
A/n: Thanks so much for the reviews everybody! I very much appreciate them, and I kinda messed up on the last chapter a bit, hehe…see there were talking in their room and then all of a sudden they were in the park -_-;; heh, yeah I messed up, but I posted it again. There's only like two sentences different, I added in so it makes sense. Well here's the next chapter … I'm still not sure how to continue this ….it's not the great adventure thingie I was hoping it to be ….but more fluffy romantic stuff, oh well. Don't worry there will be more fics in the future, I hope. SOOOO SOOOOO SORRY for the very long wait! Please forgive my lazy, pathetic, stupid ways…. Soooooooo sorrry! ;_;  
  
"Oh ho! I will not go 'til dogs chase me away!" (Dick) "Dogs! Run!!" (Sally) ~ 3rd Rock From the Sun (Don't ask, I've had that stuck in my head since I don't know when… heh -_- ;)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The day dragged on seemingly forever, I would occasionally catch Rei staring at me, which made me chuckle inwardly and him blush. It was really quite adorable. And realizing I was thinking of such words, like 'adorable', 'cute', made me shudder slightly and wonder what had taken my thoughts over. At some points, I wanted Rei's lips on mine so badly, I would have to smack myself in the head, and that was usually when I started a silly, senseless argument with Tyson. Rei would break us apart, which would embarrass me further, though it wasn't his fault.  
  
Finally, around midday, I had had enough of the team begging for me to let them go and see the sights of Moscow, Russia, so I told them to do as they pleased for the rest of the day.  
  
"Aww! See I knew there was a soft spot in you Kai!" Max declared joyfully.  
  
"Hn."  
  
I merely crossed my arms in their usual fashion and glared, shaking my head once. Tyson sent me a glare, the act intrigued me, and made me wonder what he had for Max. I shook my head wondering why I cared in the first place.  
  
Within moments, everyone on the team had left, or at least that's what I thought. I, myself, didn't plan on going out to see the frigid city, being that I'd lived here a good portion of my life and hated the reminder that I'd actually come back. It was a dark hole in my memory, and I hated to think that while I'd been tortured in the abbey, so many people had had no idea and led perfectly happy lives. However, there were those children who were with me in the abbey and those who struggled to survive each passing day in this communist country.  
  
Lost in my dark thoughts, I didn't notice anyone's presence until his warm breath tickled my left ear and neck.  
  
A shiver of delight trailed down my neck and spine, as the Chinese boy's slender hands crept up my back and shoulders. Turning slowly, I faced the shorter boy with a small smirk. He had his hands draped around my neck and a dreamy look in his golden tiger- eyes. A smile drifted across his features, as his fangs glinted in the light dangerously.  
  
My hands travelled up his slim body, until they reached his dark, glossy locks. I played with his silky hair for a moment, before I leaned forward and dropped little kisses on his neck leading up to his tender cheek. His hands entangled themselves savagely into my hair and he pressed himself against me. I captured his lips in a passionate kiss, and ran my tongue along his bottom lip to request for entrance. Our tongues clashed together and fought for dominance. Rei let out a soft moan, allowing me to take victory and giving me rights to explore his sweet mouth. We stood together like this for only a few seconds more before I scooped him up and headed towards our bedroom. Our mouths pressed back together as I pushed him onto the bed. I began stripping off his garments, as he did the same for me. And from there, I began kissing a trail down his neck as he moaned with pleasure.  
  
The late afternoon sun spilled through the window and glanced in on the two lovers. Dark snowclouds began to roll in and scattered themselves across the sky, blocking out the sun's brillance. Cold winds blew into the city of Moscow and warned of a great storm yet to come.  
  
Brightness penetrated my closed lids and were beckoning me to awaken. In comfortable relaxation, I opened my eyes to reveal dark, glossy strands covering the pillow next to me. And those glossy strands' owner was snoring softly next to them. He had an expression of pure bliss, occasionally letting out a soft purr, and it pained me to think I would have to betray them. Betray him, my lover, my kitten.  
  
The thoughts had been plaguing me all week, well those were the secondary thoughts, the primary ones were my thoughts on Rei and the feelings I'd been developing for him. I feared that if I were to get too attached to anyone on this team, especially Rei, which whom it would destroy, no person would ever place their trust in me after my betrayal. I knew Rei had felt that though, he betrayed his old team, the White Tigers, but this was different. This betrayal would ensure my goal would finally be reached. This betrayal was for me and me alone. I did not care that my grandfather would benefit from it, I just wanted to reach the perfection I'd strived for all my life. It was thoroughly frustrating that I could not achieve total perfection, but that was soon to be overriden, I would succeed.  
  
However, what it would do to Rei was what concerned me most, I knew I would succeed, but at what cost? Would I lose Rei? The only person who'd ever cared about me, who'd given himself to me and who knew I cared for him as much as he did for me. Rei was everything to me, but was he more than my goal? My goal had always been first priority for me, but Rei … he held great importance too now. The thoughts made me ill to my stomach, and emotions collided in my secluded mind. With a sad sigh, I turned to glance at the slumbering neko-jinn, somehow, even though he wasn't fully conscious, he calmed my mind. Such a calm person, who'd broken down my barriers, and had the nerve to put up with me, didn't deserve someone as undeserving as myself. He was so loving and wanted others' happiness before his own, it chewed me up to know I would never be as kind.  
  
As I stared at the rise and fall of his chest from beneath the blanket, I noted the change in pattern and looked up to his face. His eyes blinked open and he yawned quietly. He looked up to my watchful gaze and smiled happily. Stretching his tanned arms up, he wrapped them around me and pulled me to him. I gave him a small grin and pecked him on the lips. A small laugh emitted from him as he returned the favour. I sat up again, this time pulling him into a sitting position as well. His arms were still wrapped around me childishly, and he snuggled into my chest. I held him to me for a few moments, and I knew then I had to tell him the truth. He had to know what I was going to do, though I knew he would try to stop me and try to convince me that this wasn't the answer. But if I kept him in the dark any longer, it would only result in more anguish.  
  
"Rei," I whispered into his ear.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"I need to talk to you… There's something I need to tell you."  
  
He pulled away, and looked at me with those concerned golden orbs, nodding slightly.  
  
I got up out of the warm bed and pulled on my traditional attire. I decided I would have a shower later, for now, Rei had to know what was going to happen. He deserved that explanation at least. Then perhaps when I finished my task, we could start over.  
  
He took the hint and pulled on his clothes as well, the traditional Chinese clothing. He wrapped his hair up as well, with a little help from me of course. It was cute to see him struggle with it and then struggle again with the decision to ask me for help. With a smirk, I assisted him, though it was much more hurried. If I didn't talk to him now, I didn't know when I'd be able to, and I needed his full attention. The tournament was fast approaching, almost like a death toll.  
  
Sitting on the balcony, knowing I could check if the others were coming back, I began.  
  
"Rei, there's something I've got to do. I'm going to be away for awhile. But you mustn't tell the others of this."  
  
"What? What do you mean? We have a tournament to compete in!"  
  
"I know… and I'll be there… just not with our team," I said swallowing hard, avoiding his gaze.  
  
"Why Kai?! We need you!" Suddenly his face took on an angry scowl, his eyes turning to slits.  
  
"Are you saying you're betraying us?! How can I not tell everyone?! Do you even care what this will do to us? We need you Kai!!! I need you…. Why are you doing this?"  
  
Angrily, trying to cover up my weak emotions, I retorted, "Well this is more important! Don't you understand? I have to do this, this is my destiny, this is everything I've ever worked for, everything I've ever wanted, everything I ever needed!!!"  
  
As soon as the words tumbled out, I knew I'd lied, I needed Rei. I wasn't so sure that this would work out anymore. Rei seemed crushed by the harsh words.  
  
"You don't need friendship? You don't need me? You don't need love?" His voice cracked, the tears made his eyes glisten.  
  
I wore my emotionaless mask, and shook my head confirming my answer. Despite wanting more than ever to do the opposite, I kept up the façade.  
  
Heart broken and angry, Rei spoke as well as he could manage, "I thought you cared. I never thought you'd be one to betray us. Or is that really it? Am I not enough?"  
  
The question tumbled through my mind and forced me to turn away to try and cover my true emotions. 'If you only knew, Rei.'  
  
Finally, giving my last shot, I replied monotonly, "It's not you Rei, not you at all. It's not the others either. I do care, but this is my life. Everything I've been through has led up to this point," I stood up to go back inside and said quietly before I exited, "I will be with the Demolition Boys' team, but I hope to return to you someday Rei, if you'll ever forgive me. Please don't tell the others, they will find out soon enough. Goodbye…. Rei-chan."  
  
Uncharacteristically, I actually used the affectionated term, but I felt that it was necessary, perhaps we'd make it through this.  
  
Behind me, I heard Rei's rushed steps advancing towards me, he knew he'd lost this battle, why couldn't he just give it up?  
  
"Kai, I don't know how you expected me to react, nevermind feel, but right now I feel like slapping you and kissing you. I love you so much that I hate you for it, and now you're betraying us. Goodbye Kai, I hope you fulfill your lifelong dream."  
  
I swallowed back the lump that formed in my throat and clenched my fist. Then, quietly I strode out of the room, only to hear Rei break down in sobs.  
  
The rest of the team soon returned to our hotel. And we all headed out to the buffet for dinner. I didn't feel much like eating, but I couldn't bear to be around my heartbroken lover, who I said wasn't feeling too well for dinner. I was certain he'd be cold and untouchable the next day, and it was my fault. My fault…  
  
Dark nightmares would once again plague my mind, and the tournament would ensue, me being on the team of the Demolition Boys.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* A/n: Sad, ne? Yes very angsty… I'm trying to decided whether or not I should continue, or write a sequel to the events after the tournament. I honestly don't know if I want to bother going through the whole tournament, considering there are many fics that do, not that that's bad or anything, but sometimes it gets a bit tedious. Well tell me your thoughts, and what you thought about this chapter. Oh and as for the whole 'procrastinated postings', I'm thinking I may just hire a muse to bug me into working on it and giving me more ideas hehe….wonder who it'll be. Once again sorry for the extremely late posting, and I'm hoping you might review, even though I hardly deserve it. ;_; 


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